Tombstone and a flat tire. Originally posted July 21, 2006

So I was working in Douglas, Arizona today, about 100 yards from the Mexican border. So its a dry heat, right? HA! When its 118 degrees, wet, dry, it doesn't matter! Especially when the place you are working has no power, and therefore, no air conditioning! So on the way back to the hotel in Phoenix, I got a little turned around. Now, understand that this is a four hour drive in the best of circumstances, and I had a little extra time, so I decided to stop through Tombstone, AZ, home of the OK Corral, Doc Holliday, Wyatt Earp, et al. Sadly, I headed out the wrong direction, and found myself perilously close to the New Mexican border. I had already gone like 40 miles, so I decided to look at my map point software in my laptop for a back road headed the right direction, and luckily found one! It has me in the middle of nowhere crossing cattle guards on dirt and rock roads, and come into the mountainous wilderness of Coronado National Forest. This place is freaking gorgeous, and no one else was anywhere near. There were ominous signs posted that say "Travel Advisory, You may encounter smuggling or illegal immigration in this area", so I was somewhat aware of my surroundings for more than just the beauty. I certainly didnt want to encounter smuggling! It took some time, but finally I found the way back to the main road. It was a little later than I wanted it to be, but I still had plenty of time. I finally made it to Tombstone, and ate a late lunch at "Big Nose Kate's Saloon". Sadly it was a fairly expensive and forgettable tourist burger, but they had Shiner Bock on tap! Its a really cool town, though, and I wish I had more time. The whole downtown is still dirt roads and very authentic to the 1880's. (Except that electricity has made its way into every building!) So I left there and had a little daylight left, so I decided to take yet one more scenic mountain road. This one was paved and well traveled, so I figured it would be a good last shot at scenery before sunset. This is when it gets good~

I get about 15 miles from nowhere and my rear tire blows out. I have spotty cell coverage, and its still 118 degrees out. So I go to look for the jack and the spare. This is an old Chevy Astro service van, and the spare is set under the chassis, and you can access the spare from a crank behind the rear door. Problem is, the door is broken! It won't open because the door handle has broken off. I try to pry it open with tools and the inside parts fell out, as well! This made an even bigger mess, and I wasnt sure how to get out of it! I eventually climb inside the van and dismantle to door from there to work it open and access the spare, only to find that the spare is a dry-rotted donut tire. Then, I go about trying to get it on the van, but there is no shoulder on this road. I'm out in the road with the hazards on, and dusk is fast approaching. There is about 100 yards of preview for oncoming traffic around a curve, and cars are driving north of 80 miles per hour, SO I'm getting nervous. Besides, the rattlesnakes are about ready to look for water and are getting a bit active! The temperature on the pavement is about 150 degrees, and this old crank jack is slow and tedious getting the van up, and if youve ever changed a flat on an Astro, you know that you have to get the thing past the leaf suspension before the tire elevates at all! When I finally get the spare on and drive back into cell range, I called the local field supervisor back in Phoenix, and found out they had just put those tires on. USED tires! Now I have a 250 mile trip left on a dry-rotted donut spare rated for 50 miles of driving at 45mph when its in its best shape! So needless to say, I drove slowly! I finally made it back to the hotel around 10:30pm. I stretched that 4 hour drive into 9! The last hour was cool though, Because Alice Cooper does a local evening radio show in Phoenix! Those of you who know me know that I have never listened to Alice Coopers music on purpose, but what a character on the radio! That was too fun! Anyway, I'm tired, but I wanted to chronicle the adventure for posterity! Sorry to bore you all with it!

Fragile: Part II AKA Forever has come to an end. Originally posted July 17, 2006

We said forever. I guess who can really know what they are saying when they are 19 and 23. We barely knew each other, and yet there we were, in front of close friends and family - (a small crowd, because we married so quickly that folks didn't have time to make travel plans.) There we were, pledging our lives to each other forever. We stood before God and witnesses, and promised. And now - after ten years, hardly forever, it is coming to an end. We had four wonderful sons together, and that can't be a mistake. They are my life, I can't imagine not having them, so It can't have been a mistake. But there were mistakes - many of them. I made mistakes, and she made mistakes. We didn't recognize them for what they were until the steamroller was coming at us at full strenth. When we got hit head-on, we lacked the ability or the resources to recover. Each of us played to the others worst fears. We got caught in a game of chicken, and we both lost. Now we are done. Two mortally wounded individuals seeking healing. Where do you go from here? I don't know. I'm numb. I have come loose from my foundations. I'm trying to find my center again, and I've got a long way to go. This has been a long time coming, and it will be a long time before there is true healing. I didn't know it could happen, but forever has come to an end.